Memories
by reddiablo
Summary: Spoilers: Unsafe and Pariah  Clark is haunted by his past right before his upcoming wedding.  One-shot


She always haunted him. Every time his friends were in danger she was his constant reminder of how he could let people down and during the upcoming weeks of his wedding day she had found her voice. She had stepped out of the shadows of his mind and began to speak the horrid truth of his existence. Tonight he would face her in his own way.

Lois had gone with her friends to have a bachelorette party before the wedding. She would be gone for the next two days. Plenty of time to get rid of this problem he told himself. Alicia had always been in his heart whenever he tried to find the goodness in people he remembered her but she needed to forgotten most of the time. He had never told anyone how much of a mark Alicia had left on his soul but she had become warped in the last couple of months. He had thought of many theories of why she had become more than a memory. Maybe it was his time in the phantom zone or a leftover from the tampering he had endured over the years, yet his worst fear was insanity.

Her sweet voice whispered it so loudly in his ear how no one would believe him. Clark could not take the chance of his wedding day being ruined so he took it upon himself to barricade himself in his apartment. Tonight he would face Alicia once and for all.

It was one am when he was awoken form his sleep by Alicia. She sat on the end of the bed lightly touching his leg. Her frame could be seen in the pitch darkeness

"Hello, Clark" she cooed from into the night air

"Alicia this needs to stop" he said while trying to get away from her ghostly touch. He turned on his lamp by on his nightstand and was appalled to see what she was wearing. Her wedding dress.

Her eyes were bruised and the rope burn was evident on her neck. She smiled as if she had heard a joke instead of demand.

"Clark, I promised you I would always be there for you. Who else has been there for you no matter what? Plus…"She began to trail off as if another memory had distracted her speech. Her head turned to look into the vast darkness of the apartment.

Clark felt the chills creep up his spine. He knew the words she was going to form; the words that would haunt him on his wedding day. Her head turned back slowly as she leaned in towards him.

"I'm your wife after all. Do remember when we picked this dress out? We teleported into a wedding shop you know that one on Main Street. You burned out the cameras so we wouldn't get caught. It was so romantic how you turned away while I changed like a gentleman while I changed." She began to play with her dress. Her voice spoke in airy tone reminiscent of the way she spoke on their many dates.

"Stop it, Alicia you were never my real wife." The room felt hot and cramp suddenly and Alicia stared at Clark with an bemused expression.

"You are letting people dictate how you feel again. I thought you had learned that lesson. I learned it the hard way."Her hands scraped at her rope marks as she could peel off the scars. "If you had just believed me he would have never killed me. He would have known you cared. That I was not another meteor freak to be murdered."

His voice felt heavy in his throat and he only found the strength to open his mouth before she started again.

"I have to teach you over and over again how you need to value the lives of the people around you. I am the only one who loved you from the moment you showed me your power. I never had to take time to think or adjust. I just loved you for all the things that made you Clark Kent. Why would you deny me when I was ready to die for you? When I helped you have another friend to protect you and watch you when I was gone. Why pretend I was nothing? You are just another poser Clark. "

"Alicia, Please"

"You will never be one of them. They think the meteors bring madness. They think it is the meteors fault for all the villains in the world. If you told them about me they would plot behind you and strip you of your birthright. They never want to believe that it was humans' flaws that caused the misuse of power. You denied me but it doesn't change the truth about me. You loved me and I died."

Clark felt his tears as Alicia stared at him like a stranger. He had tried to forget her and tell himself it was right . He went back to his life before Alicia and no one talked about her. It was as if she had never existed. Maybe it was madness that had affected him. His guilt coming through but he didn't care anymore.

He rushed to hug her and she felt cold in his arms. She lay limp in his arms until he cried. It was as if she sprung to life because she suddenly began to hug him back.

"I love you, Clark Kent. You were my world and I would do anything to protect you whether you liked it or not. You have always been the same boy all these years trying to find a balance among these people. Please don't deny me "

Her small hands stroked his hair giving him comfort he hadn't felt for awhile. She always reminded him that he was more human than everyone thought.

Clark felt as if his voice had suddenly returned. He nuzzled into her scarred neck and kissed it. He took her head into his hands and looked into her eyes.

"You will always be my first wife. The first person to accept me, truly know me, and the only person to make me feel normal even when I was using my powers. No matter what happens with Lois your memories will keep me warm. I hate that you had to go but I promise I will never let that happen again. I love you and I'm sorry you went to your grave thinking I didn't love you. "

For the first time in a long time Alicia began to look like his old memories of her. Her pink glossy lips and her bright eyes came towards her face as if her body had been reset. Her sudden laughter broke the somber mood.

"I knew you loved me till my dying breath. I love you and I will always protect you."

Alicia kissed Clark so passionately he felt as if he has kissed the sun when he suddenly opened his eyes to see the ceiling. The beams of the morning sun streaked across the apartment as Clark laid in a daze. He wondered what had happened but he suddenly felt lighter and more prepared than ever to enter the new stage of his life.

On his wedding day, he swore he saw Alicia sitting in the crowd wearing one of her Sunday dresses. He smiled at her as he came down the aisle as a newly appointed husband and she looked proud. Alicia would always be there because people you love are never gone.

_I wrote this when I saw a promotion for the finale of smallville even though I stopped watching years ago it struck me to write a one-shot about Clark. If you didn't get hit what I was alluding at Alicia is Clark's madness and guilt. He has had to deal with constant adversity and has never been able to be him. He always has had expectations and people depending on him from such a young age that it had begun to affect him. By getting married he is becoming more and more normal without all the things that go on with it. I decided that Alicia would be his specter the thing that protects him from his true madness because she is the only person who he encounters who finds that balance. She is the only person who didn't make it an issue about who he is or represents His one-shot also how I feel the smallville writers did to the Clark character and got rid of Alicia as if to make him a character who needs to be on the outside for the rest of his life. _


End file.
